I'm struck by the myriad of emotions that ebb and flow from one minute to the next. I'm struck by why it hurts so bad.
I am an influencer. I am changing the world.
Every time I prep for our games I'm struck with a familiar question - do I keep doing what I'm doing or do I give my murder hobos more chances to flex their muscles and do what most tabletop parties do best?
I feel like my life is spiraling… because there are dishes in the sink?
Everyone who plays gets to experience this exciting process. Everyone except the individual behind the screen, the DM (or GM if you prefer).
Then you lose the job. Or the company goes under. Or they get bought out and there isn't room for you anymore. Who you were is gone.
An interesting thing about books is that they never change - but we do. This has never been more apparent to me than when rereading the Wheel of Time series written by the late Robert Jordan.
As usual, I think too much. Lately, I've been thinking about why I play video games and why certain games resonate with me more than others. Yes, I'm about to write about how those games are a reflection of a deeper part of me. Nothing is safe from my brain.
So much of writing goes beyond simply planning and executing. It can be hard to write when you're not in the proper headspace, or when you are physically uncomfortable… or when there is too much noise or the wrong kind of noise.
I'm not talking about mustache-twisting, greasy bad guys bent on stealing all the money or destroying the world for some barely understood reason. I'm talking about villains. The villain is often more important to me than the protagonist. More on that in a second.